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by Darlene A. Lancer (Author)
Do you feel trapped between your love and your pain, long for peace but feel exhausted, belittled, and confused by a narcissist?
If you're in an abusive relationship and either don't want to leave or are having difficulty doing so, Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist is for you.
It's insightful, researched, and empathetic. The core problem is that narcissists prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. This book offers hope and can help you restore your self-esteem and rebalance power in an abusive or narcissistic relationship. It includes Essential Tools for Improving and Leaving and an in-depth analysis of the relationship, how to make changes, and how to assess its prognosis. It will help you leave if you so decide.
This workbook is packed with healing exercises, checklists, and lists of actions, including a strategic step-by-step plan with scripts to confront abuse and get your needs met. You will reclaim yourself and improve your relationship, whether the narcissist is your partner, parent, child, sibling, or co-worker or doesn't have a narcissistic personality disorder. In sum, you will have practical plans you can implement to better your relationship with yourself and your loved one and be able to determine whether and how to leave the relationship.
You will:
- Discover the diagnosis, type, and deep motivations of a narcissist
- Recognize the warning signs when dating a narcissist
- Identify the behavior and what to expect in narcissistic relationships
- Understand your role and attraction to a narcissist
- Regain your independence, confidence, and self-esteem
- Rebalance the power in the relationship
- Find out how to confront narcissistic abuse effectively
- Be able to assess your relationship and prepare to leave
Chapter 1 examines a narcissistic personality disorder, types of narcissists, including narcissistic parents, and the cause and signs of narcissism. Chapter 2 focuses on the underlying features, behaviors, motivations, and traits. You will discover how to identify the type you're dealing with and why narcissists act the way they do. Chapter 3 explains narcissistic defenses and all varieties of narcissistic abuse including the most subtle forms.
Chapters 4 and 5 describe codependency and the type of person who loves a narcissist and what makes them susceptible to narcissists and abuse.
Chapters 6 and 7 look at the relationship, starting with the mutual attraction and the signs and problems that arise when dating and loving a narcissist. They cover issues such as control, intimacy, emotional unavailability, love-bombing, trauma bonds, ghosting, and gaslighting and how to determine whether a narcissist is capable of love. If you've been emotionally abandoned before, you'll learn how to prevent its recurrence.
Chapters 8 and 9 are about taking action and changing the balance of power. A blueprint is laid out to follow in order to change the relationship dynamics. Chapter 9 details a step-by-step game plan to effectively communicate and confront narcissistic behavior and emotional abuse. Scripts are suggested you can practice to set boundaries and ask for changes that you want. It also offers advice for navigating couples therapy.
The final chapters 10-12 discuss leaving and moving on. They cover why it's so difficult, how to decide, and what to expect, including hoovering and flying monkeys, plus practical advice regarding tactics and strategies for divorcing a narcissist. The stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse are set forth with guidance and recommendations for creating a single life, dating, and therapy.
